


set in stone

by jitteryglittery



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Gen, Hurt with not much comfort, I love Roman, I love his name guys, Janus Sanders - Freeform, Janus!!, Roman Sanders - Freeform, but he’s got a lot to think about, hes literally one of my favourites, set after 'putting others first - Selfishness v. Selflessness Redux', spoiler warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:28:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23963875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jitteryglittery/pseuds/jitteryglittery
Summary: After sinking out of Thomas’s living room, Roman doesn’t stop. He sinks lower and lower - until he’s curled up on the floor.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders
Comments: 13
Kudos: 109





	set in stone

**Author's Note:**

> So... that new episode huh. 
> 
> It sure gave me lots to think about. And it gave me inspiration to write my first one-shot in quite a while, so thanks for that Thomas. I love all of the sides (especially Janus, his development in this episode was *chefs kiss* perfection). I just wanted to write something angsty. 
> 
> This may be the start of a series, I’ll see where my brain takes me. Hope you enjoy!

After sinking out of Thomas’s living room, Roman doesn’t stop. He sinks lower and lower - until he’s curled up on the floor.

_Everything’s gonna be okay, Kiddo. We love you._

_...Right._

He knows they do, really. Patton is very vocal about his love for them all. Logan would never try as hard as he does to get them to see reason if he didn’t care. And Virgil.... well, with Virgil it’s an understood thing. But it’s still true.   
  
His fingers dig into the white cuffs of his sleeves. The lights are out in the empty corridor he appeared in, but it’s not so dark in that he can’t see his trembling hands, so he chooses not to look. They love him, sure, but he wants to laugh - because all that love hadn’t stopped them from looking at him like _that_ when Deceit called him evil. Like they agreed with him.

Roman notes, distantly, that his robes are probably getting dirty from being the floor. He doesn’t move, doesn’t have the energy to, closing his eyes to send himself to his room instead.

He should just wait for all this to blow over, right? Even if Deceit convinces them that hating him is the right choice, he’s half of Thomas’s creativity. They need him. He needs them to need him.

A gentle cough alerts him to company.   
  
He expects Logan, shaking his head and asking Roman to not let things get so out of hand next time. Or maybe Patton, with apologies that Roman desperately wants to hear; but he doesn’t want them too, because he’s not sure if he can handle being pitied right now. For a moment he even wonders if it’s Deceit. Roman has no clue what he’d have to say. Probably gloating. It’s easier to stay angry at him if he gives him something to be angry about.

_Between you and Remus, I wouldn’t know who the evil twin is._

Roman opens his eyes. Virgil’s stood above half turned in his direction like he’s stumbled across him by accident, obviously not seeking him out on purpose. He’s pulling his headphones down till they rest around his neck, curiosity on his face more than anything else. Thomas’s fanciful side is curled up on the floor, so his curiosity isn’t that unfounded.

”Princey?”

”Hey.” Roman lets go of his grip on his sleeves. “Don’t mind me.”

Virgil’s gaze trails over him to the ceiling he sunk down from. His fringe hangs over his eyes but Roman doesn’t miss the way they soften in understanding.

”That bad, huh?”

Roman’s surprised by the laugh that escapes him. Has it always sounded that harsh? Does he have a villains laugh? Have the others always thought of him as a bad guy but were too nice to let him know? God, the doubt Deceit’s given him is driving him insane.   
  
"Things were getting pretty tense up there. I decided to head out. I'm surprised you didn't show up, though.”

"I thought me being there would make it worse. I just - I want to give Thomas time.” Roman nods. Thomas and Virgil have been through a lot together, though, so he suspects they’ll be fine.

Virgil speaks quickly, his fingers twisting together, like he’s eager to fill the empty corridor Roman’s moping in with life again. “I was ready to go out there anyway, though. Thomas really didn’t feel so good. Logan’s just told me Patton was having issues, but everything feels calmer now so - “ Virgil’s smile is glad in a way that Roman finds painful. “- So I don’t think I’m needed for this one.”

“Deceit took Logan’s place again.” Roman hums, more casually than could ever hope to feel right now. A mean part of him doesn’t want to be the only one worried right now, but the rest of him says it’s only fair that Virgil knows what’s going on. He’s too important to leave out of the loop. "Logan was bringing up points against Patton, but at some point... well, it wasn’t Logan doing the arguing anymore.”

”What?” Virgil’s smile fades. Roman feels bad for ruining his good mood. “Deceit? Is he still up there? What did he-“

In Roman’s mind, Deceit takes a breath. It’s shaky, vulnerable. He pulls his glove until it’s loose, then it’s off entirely. (Roman’s never seen his hand before. It looks so - normal.)

 _My name is Janus,_ Deceit says. Roman laughs, and it turns out that’s so much more than the wrong thing to do. It’s just what Deceit needs to turn Roman into the bad guy of his redemption arc.

”Don’t worry, Virge.” He pokes his foot against the other’s leg. “He’s totally a good guy now.”

The anxious persona’s look of surprise makes Roman feel slightly better about himself. He continues: "Thomas and Patton were listening to him! Nodding along to everything he said like we could _trust_ him.”

"But he helped calm Patton down?'

"Well - yes. But he's _evil_ , Virgil. What if he's just playing nice, sneaking his way into the group so he can cause Thomas greater harm further down the line?"

He thinks that’s a valid worry to have. Virgil drops down next to him, and now they’re side by side, pressed against each others shoulders and the wall. It’s quiet in their corridor, and Roman appreciates it immensely. Then he realises it’s because Patton and Thomas were still out there talking to Deceit. 

"...We won't know. Not until it happens. But you should leave the what if's to me. You've got enough to deal with, Ro."

"I _can't._ I am - I _was_ supposed to be Thomas's hero, but I couldn't do a thing. The dark sides are evil, so why am I the only one who sees it?"

Virgil stiffens, so slightly that Roman wouldn’t have noticed if they weren’t so close.

"...You know I didn't mean you. Virgil. He tries to catch his eyes. “You're one of us.”

"I wasn't always." Virgil won’t look in his direction, pulling his jacket tighter around him. "Have you forgotten already?"

"No, I haven’t -“

"What was it you said once? 'I can't stand that guy.' You hated me too."

"Why -" Roman pushes himself up off the floor. He doesn't like the desperate tone his voice is taking. "Why are you even bringing that up now?"

He points at Virgil. "I though you'd be on my side with this," he accuses. "No-one distrusts Deceit more than you." Virgil, frustratingly, doesn't rise to the bait. Something painful twists inside Roman's chest. Bickering for them is second nature - how is it all turning upside down so quickly? Is he not even a worthy opponent for Virgil anymore?

"I don't trust him, Roman. But I can admit that _sometimes_ he can have a point. A broken clock is right twice a day."

Roman can't stop this - this shift they all seem to be going through, while he's being left behind. He doesn't want to but ideas come to mind anyway. Another one of Thomas's videos. Another dilemma. Three rising sides, and one appearing, to help him out. But one appearing side shifts into two, and _Deceit_ is in his place. He’s not even disguising himself as Roman - he’s Deceit, yellow gloves and all, and no one is even batting an eye. They want him to be there. They want his advice more than they want Roman, and it - it _hurts_.

(Not for the first time, he hates it. Hates that Creativity is _his_ job, because it means he can picture it all perfectly. As if it’s happening. Because it _will_ happen, eventually, won’t it?)

"So you want me to give him a chance? He’s not like you, Virgil.”

”He _is_ , Virgil says, eyes fierce. “We are the same, whether you like it or not. I know I pretend to be different but really - we both wanted to be listened to. Wanted respect. I was just the first to go and get it.”

Roman wants to ask how he’s ever supposed to believe that, when Deceit is one thing and Virgil is entirely another. When Virgil would pop up in videos and smirk at him with a _hey there, Princey_ just because he knew it got under Roman’s skin. When they’d sit together in the common room watching Disney movies, under a fragile truce until the credits rolled. When he’d surprise them all by going along with their ideas, agreeing to try and find a Hogwarts house (the fact that he decided against one in the end was besides the point.) When he gave them a rare smile, small but genuine.   
  
Deceit would never duck out. He’d never hold his tongue, never squash down what he’s feeling to stop Thomas from feeling down. He’s confusing - and how is Roman supposed to tell Deceit’s genuine smiles from his fake ones?

Virgil is good. Is always trying to be good. Deceit’s nothing like him, but Virgil - for some reason - doesn’t see it that way.

“I’ve known them so long. Patton, Logan and Thomas. And not one of them defended me. Now there’s you, and I have to find out you feel the same. And I - I thought we were friends.”

That makes Virgil frown. He looks like he’s about to stand and Roman can’t decide what would be worse: Virgil walking away, or Virgil coming closer. “Roman. Of course we’re friends. What does that have to do with this?”

“It has everything to do with it! My friends don’t want to listen to me - they’d rather listen to Deceit who - up until this point - has been more than happy to disguise himself as one of us to try and get us to listen to him!”

His hands move as he tries to get his point across. They’re shaking again. “I don’t care how helpful his points are if he’s using tactics like that to get us to listen. But conveniently, no-one seems to remember what he’s done in the past because we have to trust him now! We know his name, so he can’t be _that_ bad.”

He hears Virgil’s sharp intake of breath. “He... Janus told you?”

”He did.”

“Right.” A pause. Virgil sounds shocked. “Okay.” 

Roman blinks, and the image of Deceit in his spot is behind his eyes. He’s laughing with Virgil, who has a hand under his chin to try and hide his smile. Logan’s there, Patton too, and they all - seem okay. Seem better. 

“Did you laugh?”

Roman thinks his silence is answer enough. When he turns around to Virgil’s spot on the floor, it’s empty.

**Author's Note:**

> can you tell I have a soft spot for Virgil? I know this was meant to be a mostly Roman fic but I couldn’t help myself.
> 
> This fic is not Roman hate, by the way. Or Deceit hate. I genuinely believe Deceit was being genuine in wanting to earn the trust of the others in the newest video, and I suspect Roman will undergo a character arc in future videos where he realises that not everything is so clearly ‘good and evil’ and will grow as a result. 
> 
> Please let me know what you thought of this! Flo :)


End file.
